The following poems—offered in the service of preaching about truth—highlight the depth of God’s love for us that enables us to freely love others as they are without requiring agreement. Heller reminds readers that vulnerability, authenticity, and prayer enable us to deepen relationships and “be true” to one another even when it is difficult.
Stalemate
An ocean of explanations would not persuade her,
nor graphics and data, expert opinions.
It’s not being stubborn if you know with certainty
that you are right, that you are on the side of God,
goodness and love.
So regarding that one incident,
our only agreement is that the other is completely wrong
and we of course are right.
(We can’t help what is true.)
And for that other incident as well,
and the other, and that one additional,
and who knows how many others have faded
from recollection over the years.
Yet still we pray for each other,
and wish the best as best we can,
and hope that one day the other will concede.
It Takes Courage
It takes courage to make the effort
to write down what you are feeling,
or to become vulnerable enough
to speak it to another.
It takes courage to believe those feelings
are important and have value,
especially when they seem so unremarkable,
or subtly below the surface – not deep and not superficial,
just there, just you, ordinary feelings.
It takes courage to embrace the truth
that what may appear and feel ordinary is precious
- like breathing -
we don’t give it much attention,
but hold your breath for a couple of minutes
and you may remember…
feeling your feelings, like breathing air,
is necessary for living life.
Breathe, dear one, breathe.
Take courage and live!
True
I wouldn’t love you more if you went to church
or if you believed in the God I know exists.
I wouldn’t love you more if your choices were different –
where or how you live, your politics, your friends
or who shares your bed.
I wouldn’t love you more if you visited for Christmas
or called on my birthday
or let your son come for a sleep over.
I wouldn’t because I couldn’t, because true love is true,
because true love loves complete
as you are and not for what could be,
because you will always be a part of my heart,
and because I know this is how God loves me.
Broken
Wanting to be holy but instead
feeling as full of holes as swiss cheese.
Wanting to offer kindness but instead
feeling only kind of able to be present.
Wanting to be fully alive but instead
feeling tired and incapable of being my truest self.
Wanting life to be free and easy but instead
feeling so unfree and difficult.
Wanting to curl up into safe and secure but instead
I feel Jesus calling me out to authenticity.
Light
A year of light,
seeing,
what I may rather not,
helping others to see,
what they may rather not,
and standing together in the truth.
A year of light,
growing into greater freedom,
letting go of the anchors that now hold me back,
welcoming the challenges that trigger my fears,
deepening friendships,
deepening friendships,
whether they appear to lead into
or away from the light.
A year of light,
compassion,
bringing love and hope in the midst
of despair and unspeakable suffering,
resolved as light to be light for others.
A year of light,
letting go of all,
and allowing no more room for,
regret.
A Spiritual Discipline
Share your secrets as a spiritual discipline,
not someone else’s secrets,
but yours.
Start first with the Examine –
“What are my secrets?”
“What is hidden away for no thief,
no friend, no spouse or offspring to find?”
“What am I hiding from myself,
and from God?”
Pick one and share it …
not during confession,
but instead confess it in love –
give a part of yourself away,
become less isolated,
become less afraid.
Perhaps it may help to imagine
the clean up of your life …
after you have died,
by a family member or a friend.
Will they be surprised by the cards you saved,
the love letters you treasured?
Is there a diary that recorded feelings
of unfulfillment, resentment, jealousy,
lust and confusion?
Did you dare to write about your doubts –
the doubts good people are not supposed to have?
(We all know what these are.)
Maybe now is the time to clean up,
before you die …
but will you destroy the evidence
or vanquish the secret by revealing it?
Perhaps you pretend you live open book, no secrets.
You can face the truth if you choose,
and look more closely.
Who knows about your money,
your sexual desires and activities,
your fears,
your disappointments,
your joys,
your dreams?
And maybe it will help to remember
that there are no secrets in heaven.
(Photo credit: Matheus Farias
